I don’t know what you were looking for, but you found the Cephalopods.
Meet the octopodes: Wallace (red), Wagstaff (green), Wanda (black), and Wilhelmina (tan, cat-adjacent).
Fun facts about the octopodes:
- Wagstaff is the official mascot of the 2015/2016 MBU S&P MFA Company, Sweet Wag Shakespeare. He enjoys spirited conversations, Classic Rock, and southern cooking.
- Wallace is most proud of his record-setting time of 4 hours, 17 minutes, 32 seconds in the 50-yard dash (though it is far longer than the current world record of 4.5 seconds, Wallace has the distinction of being the only octopus to even attempt running any amount of distance on dry land, let alone actually completing a 50-yard “dash”).
- Wanda’s favorite Shakespeare play is Pericles, and she confesses her guilty pleasure is a well-performed soft shoe number.
- Wilhelmina is exceedingly shy. This is the only known photographic record of her existence. As such, many believe her to be mythical and thus deny her existence. Those people are wrong. Don’t be like those people.
- Rumor has it that Wilhelmina shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Wanda and Wallace corroborate the story, but Wagstaff flatly denies any shooting took place. Instead, he insists Wilhelmina’s method of murder was actually a slow, loving, asphyxiation-by-tentacle.
- Octopodes are not meant to be worn as hats.
Meet the Architeuthidae (giant squids): Big Red (red) and Squompass (all the colors).
Fun facts about the Architeuthidae:
- Squompass is the official mascot of the 2016/2017 MBU S&P MFA Company, Compass Shakespeare Ensemble.
- Big Red lives in Brooklyn.
- Architeuthidae are, in fact, intended to be worn as hats.
All cephalopods knitted Lia Wallace and no, you can’t have one.